Assignments

Sometimes I just lack basic motivation to do what I should be doing. I have two essays I need to have done, one for biology, and the other for English.

The biology essay should be fairly intuitive. It is simply taking the Atkins diet, and drawing up a well outlined report on it. My professor Joseph Trackey did an excellent job showing us precisely what he wanted and thus this should be fairly easy. The only trouble is the essay itself is coupled with another assignment. This other assignment is to take the record of my diet over the last 10 days and see if the two areas of improvement I attempted succeeded. All of this (due on the same day) is going to have to be turned in with a very specific format etc. The long and short of my biology assignment is “time consuming.”

The English essay is a bit worse. Not only is it time consuming, it is vague. Our teacher (God bless her heart) hasn't really given us a clear understanding of what specifically she is looking for. With this essay I'm kinda going out on a limb hoping what I come up with fits what she is looking for.

Principally I'm hoping to get good grades in both these classes so I can transfer as a “transfer” student into Sam Houston with a 4.0, which I currently have. Providing I don't screw up either of these classes I should step outta community college with a good grade, and a semester of college complete.

Assignments and me have problems when I don't feel motivated. For the last two years of my high school I was motivated by graduation, something a little intangible when 'college' graduation is now four years off... or three and a half. 

In order to combat this fatalistic sense of fatalism I try to organize my days into something that is enjoyable to live through. Maybe the truth of the matter is my life is as empty on a day to day basis with no more motivation than the motivation to keep breathing, and if this is true reality really is gonna suck for the next couple of years. However, I will keep trying to writing day to day purpose into my life that inspires me from assignment to assignment.

Life used to be easy from day to day, because having a family was my goal and it was made tangible by someone special. However, that special person being gone life has gone back to the day to day grind of working towards all these wonderful things people guarantee will eventually materialize. 

Hope to the future, hard work to the present, avoid repeating the past...